i'm in ur dojo, PUTIN down ur sensei

Apparently Putin can lay down more than a verbal bitchslap. Time Magazine's Person of the Year took some time off from basking in his own awesomeness to help shoot an instructional video on judo.

But your feeble constitution is no match for Megalon!

According to Japan's Minister of Defense (who also seems to be in charge of Sci-Fi/Fantasy Affairs), the country's strictly pacifist constitution might provide some leeway if men in rubber suits or shitty action directors with Ferris Bueller in tow were to descend on Tokyo. “'If Godzilla attacked, that would probably be a natural disaster relief operation,'” making it legally permissible, he said."

Dodgin' ur queschuns

"Until these inquiries are complete, until the oversight’s finished, then I will be rendering no opinion from podium.”

NYT recaps another fun-filled Bush presser.

In related news, it turns out the cause of yesterday's fire was actually Dana Perino's head exploding.

I'm in ur iowa, ruinin ur primary

Via Reuters: AFFABLE BAPTIST MAKES PRIMARIES SLIGHTLY LESS BORING

Bonus: Christopher Hitchens zings Huckabee, orders fourth pre-lunch Scotch

Stand Down, Dawg

Reuters , via Wonkette . Blackwater reaches comic-book levels of villainy; Michael Vick encouraged by post-prison employment prospects.

informed speculation

The Washington Post unfortunately neglects to address how that Dick Cheney and David Addington were lighting each other's farts at the OEOB when things got a little out of hand. Oh, and they were farting on super-secret CIA tapes.

I can has obfuscation of evidence plz?

BREAKING: WHITE HOUSE LAWYERS DISCUSS THINGS!!!

Third timez a charm?

Just tactical differencez LOL?

I can haz HEU?